It's So Hot......

This came from an e-mail sent to me from one of my downline.  It really has been very hot and very dry in southern Ontario.  We have  not had any real rain since May and the temperature has been in the high  30's for days now.  Stepping outside is like stepping into an oven.
One has to have a sense of humour about these weather foibles, and that's one thing Canadians do best - laugh at ourselves.

Enjoy the hottness!!

IT'S SO HOT IN ONTARIO THAT ....

... the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.
... the trees are whistling for the dogs.
... the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
... hot water comes from both taps.
... you can make sun tea instantly.
... you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
... the temperature drops below 90 F and you feel a little chilly.       
... you discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car.
... you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
... you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
... you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 A.M.
... your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out, end up lying on the pavement

                        and cook to death"?

... you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.
... the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter.
... the cows are giving evaporated milk.
... farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

 

 

IT'S SO DRY that...

 

... the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling

            ... the Methodists are using wet-wipes

            ... the Presbyterians are giving rain checks

            ... the Roman Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!